There's no need to talk about my present. Let's talk about my past. Because I have many tales to tell. Hmmm... let's see.
There is proof that there live inbreeders in other places besides the South. Missouri, aamof. And to continue, my ex-husband is one of them. Of course, to be an inbreeder, you'd have to actually breed, but in this case, WHO FUCKING CARES. He was fucking his first cousin.
Yep. He told me about his first-cousin, Martha or whatever... fuck I don't remember her name. Martha sounds good. Anyway, Martha and the ex-hubby lived together for two years in a motel room along with her jobless drinkin ass. And in turn, he drank a SHITLOAD (I'll get back to that later) so there he goes fucking his cousin in a motel room for two years probably every day, every night, in the bed, the couch, the shower, during a football game eating corn chips and drinkin Jack and a Miller Light. On top of the god damn dishwasher... whatever the fuck. She was probably all like, "AHHH AHHH AHH FUCK ME WITH YOUR BIG FAT COCK!" and he was like "OOHHH YEAH BABY COUSIN FUCKING IS THE BEST FUCKING!" or whatever. Btw, he didn't have a big, fat cock. But she would know.
His... I mean THEIR family completely disowned the both of them. Did I mention that he was 21 and she was 42? Not only is she a cousin molester, she's a fuckin child molester, too.
What's worse is that he tells me this before we are to be married. Of course, I was in love of all places and couldn't pull that arrow out of my dumb ass. DUH! You're about to marry a COUSIN FUCKER for Jesus' sake! Throw that shit in the dumpster. But, I didn't. We married that December and was just shy of being disowned myself. Not really. It doesn't matter that I married a nasty cousin-lickin motherfucker that when I came home, he would have a trail of beer bottles from the kitchen counter all the way upstairs into the bedroom where he would be downing a few more and listening to George Thoroughgood's, "I Drink Alone"; what matters is that I threw that trash out a long time ago and found me a good man that's never fucked his cousin.